Over the past few weeks we’ve been talking about family.
One of the questions I ask myself often is how to speak to everyone in the room. We are all in different stages of life. Different experiences. Different seasons.
But one thing unites us:
We are all in a stage of family.
From the youngest child in the building to the most experienced grandparents…
husbands and wives… sons and daughters… aunts and uncles…
We all live inside family relationships.
And every family needs a biblical foundation for:
- navigating conflict
- deciding who we serve
- understanding power
Because whether we acknowledge it or not, power dynamics exist in every family.
Understanding Power in the Home
Power is a word that can make us uncomfortable — especially in the home. Many of us didn’t learn about power from healthy examples.
Power, simply defined, is the ability to overcome resistance.
Within family relationships, it is the ability to influence the behavior of others.
And not all power is bad.
In fact, when power combines, something beautiful can happen.
A few years ago my grandmother was visiting us in Nebraska. It had been bitterly cold for two weeks. One thing we share is a love for fishing.
So I suggested we go ice fishing.
She grew up in Mississippi. Ice fishing had never even been an option.
So we combined our powers.
She had the power to buy the gear.
I had the power to drill the holes and walk on the ice.
We grabbed some Yaktrax and off we went.
When power combines, something beautiful happens.
When power competes, something often breaks.
Power Struggles Are Universal
Every stage of family life encounters power dynamics:
- husbands and wives navigating marriage
- infants controlling sleep schedules
- toddlers testing boundaries
- teenagers pushing for independence
- young adults redefining norms
- aging parents needing care
Power exists because relationships exist.
Scripture shows us that from the beginning.
Before the fall, man and woman walked side by side.
After the fall, power became distorted:
“You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”
—Genesis 3:16
Power shifted from partnership to position.
So the question isn’t:
How do we eliminate power?
Because it isn’t going away.
The real question is:
How do we redeem it?
Jesus Redefines Power
In Mark 9, the disciples are arguing about who is greatest.
Same pride. Same insecurity. Same power struggle.
Jesus sits down — the posture of a teacher — and rewrites the rules.
“Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.”
—Mark 9:35
Then He does something unforgettable.
He brings a child into their midst.
From that moment, Jesus gives us three defining truths about redeemed power.
Power Goes Last
In God’s design, power is not about position.
It is about posture.
The one with authority:
- goes last
- carries the weight
- absorbs the cost
Biblical leadership doesn’t ask:
How do I win?
It asks:
How do I serve?
This is the antidote to domination, manipulation, and ego-driven leadership in the home.
Power Brings the Vulnerable Close
Jesus placed the child at the center.
Children in that culture had no status. No leverage. No voice.
Power in God’s design does not distance itself from weakness.
It draws it near.
This applies to:
- children still learning
- spouses who are hurting
- family members who are struggling
- seasons requiring more grace than correction
Power that serves doesn’t push people away.
It protects them.
Power Helps Others Grow Toward God
“Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me.”
—Mark 9:37
Redeemed power creates an environment where people grow toward God.
It’s not about gaining compliance.
It’s about cultivating maturity.
True authority creates space for the vulnerable to flourish.
When power intimidates, people shrink.
When power serves, people grow.
That is redeemed power.
What This Looks Like at Home
Go Last on Purpose
Instead of asking, How do I get my way?
Ask: How do I serve well right now?
Bring the Vulnerable Closer
Instead of quick correction:
Sit.
Listen.
Lead.
Ask:
- “How did that make you feel?”
- “What happened next?”
Lead with presence before instruction.
This isn’t passive parenting.
This is Christlike leadership with conviction and compassion.
Use Power to Grow, Not Control
The goal is not behavior modification.
It is heart formation.
Because in God’s design:
Authority protects.
Leadership nurtures.
Power reflects Christ.
Why This Matters
When a family redeems power, the world sees the gospel in motion.
Strong families are not defined by the absence of conflict.
They are defined by maintaining their witness in the middle of it.
When families live this way, the world sees something rare:
Not domination.
Not chaos.
But Jesus Christ.
Power that goes last.
Power that draws close.
Power that helps others grow.
That is the power of Christ.
And that is the power our families are meant to display.